Monday, October 29, 2012

My World

Welcome to it.

So, a few things I should get out in the open, first thing...

1. I tend to ramble. A. Lot.
2. I can be very random. One day I'll post about knitting, the next about heavy metal music, the next about weather, and the next about cooking.
3. Due to the two above, I have no actual direction planned for this blog. Continue at your own peril.
4. I was motivated to start this for NaBloPoMo 2012, but I have really always loved being long winded and random, and have had blogs before, and am hoping to get back into the habit.

So, as long as I'm making lists (I really love lists, too) I should make another one, and maybe give you some background info on me.

1. I live in the Midwest. That's the USA, for those lucky enough to be "international". Upper Midwest if you want to get technical, but that's probably as specific as I'll get about location. I'm sure that some of my potential readers know me personally, and they will know exactly where I am.
2. I have a large, but complicated family history. This comes into play mostly during holidays and such. My family fractured: father, brother, myself in one direction, my mother and sister in another. On top of that, there were several complicated relationships with Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles, and some of those continue to this day, in my Adulthood. Some of the situations fill me with regret, some of them fill me with anger, most of them have yet to be resolved. I don't know how different this is than anyone else on this planet, I can only speak for myself and my situation. I can only tell you that several people in positions to make comparisons have stated that my family is an absolute mess. My mother and I do not speak, same with my sister and myself. I will not speak OF them in recent terms in this blog, and for the record, most of my "wish to remain anonymous" is directly related to them and this situation.
3.  I am currently in a relationship with Rob. We own a trailer and live together. He was married previously and has a son, who we see very often; officially we have him every other weekend, and every week Wednesday and Friday, but we usually have him much more than that. I really like the kid, and I think that Rob is a great dad. I have issues with the kid's mom, but mostly I keep them to myself. I'm hoping to use this blog to vent a little, once in a while. I understand that I need to keep a good relationship with her, but sometimes, you just need to vent in a safe place. For anyone keeping track, Kiddo is a 9 year old. He's totally into Dragonball, Pokemon, Riding his Bike, and watching Family Guy. He prefers my homemade pizza to just about any meal ever, but when we go out to eat, he prefers Subway, or anyplace he can score Chicken Strips and Fries.
4. My father lives with my brother. He and I used to be roommates, but when I moved in with Rob, he moved in with my brother. My brother has just bought a house, and it's very nice. It's a good situation for my dad. He has trouble with steps, and there is literally two steps to get into the house, and everything dad needs is on the first floor, including the laundry. He now lives closer to the specialist doctors he used to make long trips to visit. I see them pretty often, it's a lot easier for me to just go and "hang out" now.
5. I love yarn. I'm tri-craftual, which is a word that makes me giggle. I knit and crochet. I can sew decently, but currently don't have a machine. I don't remember a time when I did not know how to sew or crochet. Knitting was a more recent thing, and even then, I've been doing it for probably over ten years. I don't consider myself an expert, but I do think I'm pretty good at it. I don't get to do as much of it as I'd like, or as much as those around me that would like me to make them things would like, either. I'll get into kicks where I make things just to learn a new technique, or just to prove that I can, and end up with an object that is not something that I'd wear or use. Sometimes it's just about the challenge.
6. I have a few medical issues. I am recently diagnosed as a Diabetic, which is not something that most of even my friends know about. I'm not insulin dependent. I'm rather in a sort of denial about it, still. I am taking medication for it, and right away, I could tell the difference. I can focus much better, I recognized times where my sugar was high, and the effects of that on my body. My father is diabetic. A lot of members of my mother's family where/are diabetic. I recognize also, that it's my own fault. I am overweight, for example. I don't eat all that well sometimes. I'm not sugar crazy, but I am carb crazy, and that's pretty much just as bad. I also suffer from depression and anxiety, neither of which I'm treating right now, chemically or medically. I'm sure I will discus those a lot more in the future.
7. I am Agnostic. If you don't know what that word is, go look it up, because frankly, I'm really tired of explaining it to people. I'll tell you what it's NOT: satanic, atheist, or an organized religion. I am not religious, but I am spiritual. I tend to get irritated by anyone who says they will pray for me, or anyone who "blesses" me in a overly condescending way. There are a few people who can get away with it, but not many, and definitely not someone I've just met. I grew up Lutheran, in a very conservative private school. I know the bible front and back. I know all the arguments that the super religious use to feel smug and superior. I also know amazing and open people who go to church and use their powers for the good of human kind. I salute that variety of the god-fearing. I just don't feel the need to joint them.
8. Politics. Uh oh, here it comes. I grew up hard line conservative Republican, and I considered myself one for many many years. But with age comes knowledge. IF I was going to define myself (something i loathe doing in any situation) I would probably define myself as a liberal republican. I have a lot of issues with both major political parties, but i have probably have more issues with Democrats. Instead of labeling myself, I'd rather just tell you where I stand on some major issues:

  • Gay(in the general sense): I am not gay. I sorta wish I was, sometimes. I think that everyone should be allowed to: marry, have kids, adopt kids, share insurance, share rights of survivorship. I think that this is a civil rights issue, and we all know what happened in the past with civil rights issues....I just wish it weren't such a long and arduous fight for people that I love, people I am friends with, people who deserve the same rights as I currently take for granted. 
  • Fetuses (also in the general sense): I was once a fetus, I'm really grateful that my mother carried me to term. I have been pregnant, I have not carried to full term, against my specific wishes. Again with the labeling: I'm pro-life. I am also REALISTIC. Women aborting fetuses does not make me happy, but there's not much I can realistically do about it. Make it illegal, and it's still not going to stop. I have no issues with women who were raped getting abortions, although I wish they would/could have taken Plan B instead. Basically I just wish there was LESS abortions, and more birth control. Abortion is not birth control, in a moral sense. How much is an abortion these days? How much is a condom. Or the bill, or an IUD, or a vasectomy? I know accidents happen, and that's why I'm not completely anti-abortion. I recognize that my stance does not fit into EITHER one of the major political parties. I consider it just common sense. 
  • Government (again, general sense): Get the fuck out of my life. Leave me to live, pursue happiness, etc. I'm definitely for smaller government. 
  • Guns: yes please. 
  • Drugs (of the illegal variety): if it came out of the ground, it's probably okay. If it came out of a lab (or an RV mobile meth lab, I'm looking at you Heisenberg) I don't think I want it in my life. I'm all for legalizing marijuana, as long as it's regulated. I'm even okay with it being taxed, too, to help pay for the regulation. To cover my ass, I do not currently indulge in anything harder than an occasional bottle of wine, but there have been times in my life where i needed the refuge of numbness, and I found it growing in the ground. 
I think that about sums it up. Generally I'm laid back in most things. 

Yea, I told you I ramble. Good God. 

More tomorrow.......

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